I wrote this for
my lifelong friend when I was unable to be at her baby shower many miles
away. My Mom was encouraged by what I
wrote, and wished for others to hear what the Lord revealed to me using a
passage of Scripture on the role of investing in future generations. You may or may not be a parent, but the vast
majority of us have children somehow involved in our lives. My hope is that no
matter what season of life you are in, this will be biblical encouragement for
your life. What is written below is
written in letter form (with minor adjustments to generalize for the public)
for my precious sister in the Lord on the birth of her 2nd child (my
adopted niece).
Friend,
Although I am
not yet a parent myself, I have been blessed to have many “child rearing” hours
with my nieces and nephews, uniquely more than a typical aunt. I also have a
wise mother and father who have learned through their own series of triumphs
and mistakes. Yet, they have remained teachable to the Lord and continue to
pour their lives into their grandchildren. I glean much wisdom from sitting at
their feet. Truth is Truth, whether you
are a parent or not. I know you believe
this and can fully embrace my heart, as well as the places I’ve been with the
Lord teaching and sanctifying me. I am
thankful you can receive this parenting encouragement from me though unmarried
and yet without babes of my own.
Let’s dive into
the fresh, living water of His Word and read…
1 Corinthians 3:9-23 (NASB)
9 For
we are God’s fellow workers; you are God’s field, God’s building.
10 According
to the grace of God which was given to me, like a wise master builder I laid a
foundation, and another is building on it. But each man must be careful how he
builds on it. 11 For no man can lay a foundation other than the
one which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. 12 Now if any man
builds on the foundation with gold, silver precious stones, wood, hay, straw, 13 each
man’s work will become evident; for the day will show it because it is to be revealed with fire, and the
fire itself will test the quality of each man’s work. 14 If any
man’s work which he has built on it remains, he will receive a reward. 15 If
any man’s work is burned up, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved,
yet so as through fire.
16 Do
you not know that you are a temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you? 17 If any
man destroys the temple of God, God will destroy him, for the temple of God is
holy, and that is what you are.
18 Let
no man deceive himself. If any man among you thinks that he is wise in this age,
he must become foolish, so that he may become wise. 19 For the
wisdom of this world is foolishness before God. For it is written, “He is the
one who catches the wise in their craftiness”; 20 and
again, “The Lord knows the reasonings
of the wise, that they are useless.”
21 So then let no one boast in men. For all things belong to
you, 22 whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life
or death or things present or things to come; all things belong to you, 23 and
you belong to Christ; and Christ belongs to God.
This
passage is called “Foundations for Living.” I don’t think it excludes the foundations
that we give the next generation. I was
struck by the fact that the Lord wants us CONSTANTLY to weigh how we parent
children by its value of eternal weight of glory. In every generation, there are “trends” to
parenting…whether its bottle feeding vs. breastfeeding, organic foods or Gerber®,
cloth diapers vs. disposable, high law vs. low grace or vice versa, and the
list goes on and on. However, the bottom
line is even the “good” parents can argue in their position to choose something
in the raising of their children. We often miss the questions we should really
be asking, such as: “How does this
prepare my children to meet Jesus as their Savior? Do I create an environment
that encourages my children to long for Jesus Christ? Do I display to my children that I have been
redeemed and live only by the power of the Holy Spirit within me? What
foundation am I giving my children?”
You
see, even though we can make “good” choices for our babies/children from the
food they eat to the clothes they wear, if we make the “good” choices the focus
(instead of Jesus Christ being the focus), all they learn is law without
Christ’s fulfillment. Satan deceives
indwelt believers more through focusing on the good that thwarts God’s best, than
he does getting them to focus on blatant sin/evil. If we focus so much on the decisions we make
in the temporal to the point where we stress out over what is the best bedtime
routine, the right organic baby food, the best diapers, the right school
curriculum, and so forth, then we will build a foundation that will not last
and will not affect them for eternity (v12-13). Satan is thrilled when we focus
on the “right thing” without the right motive/focus. Our children may even grow up to become
chosen indwelt believers, but if we do not focus on the life of Christ doing
His work in and through them, we are not preparing them to have a foundation
that will remain…a foundation that will be rewarded in eternity (v14-15). Decisions for your children, my friend, need
to come forth from the life of Christ IN you and your spouse. Even well-meaning “good things” can detract
from God’s eternal plan for your children.
Remember, so many of the choices we make here on earth are NOT for the
here and now, but for generations to come and for eternity that is to be set in
our hearts. Our citizenship is not here
on this earth (Phil. 3:20). Although we embrace that in the knowledge of our
minds, do we live it out in our beliefs and choices, pointing back to God’s
infinite glory? Do we demonstrate this
to the next generation?
There
is nothing to boast in but Christ Jesus as Lord (v21, 23), because belonging to
Christ is all we need. He paid the price
of law; He fulfilled it so we can be free to walk in His grace…the perfect
blend of His precepts and His doctrines, His judgment and His love, and all the
things that seem an oxymoron to us are really the completion of His work
through co-death, co-burial, co-resurrection, and co-ascension! This is what we
must boast of to our children. What we must convey, they boast to others about.
Anything less is a shaky foundation made up of Christian works, behavioral
changes, and a life of striving for a freedom that God already offers us. It’s finished from the moment He chooses and
reveals His plan of salvation to the ripe heart.
Do
not be deceived (v18) by what appears to be wisdom, but really is only a
worldly fable. God’s wisdom doesn’t look
brilliant to our flesh or the world, but it is. You will be blessed raising
your children with an eternal foundation.
Because when we get to heaven, He won’t be concerned about what baby
food we gave them, what diapers we used, or what bedtime routine we
followed. He will look to see the
foundation we placed before them and if we seized Christ as Life and poured His
Life into our discipline and training of their lives. He isn’t looking for a perfect parent who never
walks after his/her flesh. He is looking
for a humble parent who will reconcile his/her mistakes to their children, a teachable
parent who asks other body members in Christ for Truth, and a parent who always
runs counsel against God’s Word. He
isn’t looking for a strong parent. He is looking for a parent who says, “I am
weak, a nobody. WITHOUT the indwelling life of Christ Jesus, I cannot parent
this child.”
Take
heart on your journey, my friend. With each child He grants you, He grants you
not human ability, but His very life. He doesn’t make you stronger, he makes
you weaker…so that you will rely and be dependent upon Him for raising up
children in the Lord. The very One who created you, created your child! He understands how you are both fashioned and
wired (quirks and all!), and He will guide you through the dark nights and the
sunny days, all for His glory. Surrender to the sanctification your children
bring, and constantly share your foundation for the eternal. They will be blessed!!!
“For we can do nothing against the truth, but
only for the truth” (2
Corinthians 13:8).
Scripture
taken from the New American Standard
Bible, © Copyright 1960, 1962,
1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used
by permission.
