Breaking Covenant~ The Truth About Divorce

No one really desires to discuss this topic, especially not biblically, because there are only two options left at the end of the discussion.  Supporting God’s design or supporting mans.  If you agree with the latter, you will be given the sentiment of being understanding, loving, helpful, and a true friend.  However, if you are in agreement with God’s original design, you usually are not granted similar synonyms.  They usually fall more along these lines: judgmental, killjoy, legalistic, and unloving.  When you fall into this bracket you’ll get rebuttals sounding something like this, “You’re saying that God doesn’t care about my happiness or that I have to be alone the rest of my life, even if I’m the innocent party?  What about if the spouse abandons or commits adultery? Are those not grounds for a biblical divorce?”  We have all mulled over and wanted answers to these questions. The problem to these rebuttals lies in the focus of these questions.  They aren’t all about God, His design, covenant, or how we can best fulfill His desires here on earth.  Rather, the point of those questions is one thing: self-focus.  I know, I’m probably about to lose 80% of the average reader, and the rest of the 20% are just hanging in out of sheer curiosity over where I’m going with this.  However, if only 1% takes to heart what I am about to say, then I’m filled with joy!  For all the skeptics, just keep reading, you may be surprised at what you find.  I’m about to answer some tough questions…biblically!

First off, I’m going to start with some Scripture, but I’m not going to start with the typical Scriptures used in the discussions on this life changing topic.  Instead, let us take a look at Romans 7:1-3.

“Or do you not know, brethren (for I am speaking to those who know the law), that the law has jurisdiction over a person as long as he lives?  For the married woman is bound by law to her husband while he is living; but if her husband dies, she is released from the law concerning the husband. So then, if while her husband is living she is joined to another man, she shall be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from the law, so that she is not an adulteress though she is joined to another man” (NASB, emphasis mine).

Now if we were reading this without partiality, we would see one key point stand out to us ~ a person is bound in marriage by law, until death.  The problem with this statement is we now live in a society where laws are relative!  They are subject to change based on WHOM the lawmaker is and how long he/she holds that position.  We think “too American” when we read Scripture, instead of thinking with the mind of Christ. With this skewed way of thinking, we then believe that divorce is not only acceptable to God, but is actually a part of His plan for our lives!  We swiftly embrace a man-made law that enables us to have our way--divorce from an unpleasing spouse. And in the process, we smack God’s signet ring on it and say, “God told me to.”  Oh what joy that we serve a longsuffering King of kings when we flippantly make statements such as these.  Trust me when I say I am thankful for His mercy, because I have experienced His grace in wanting my own way on this topic.  These Truths I am sharing have come from painful hours, days, and years of wrestling with God years ago, when I came to personally face this question when desirous of marrying a divorced man.  These Truths changed not only the course of my life, but the very way I viewed God and the Bride of Christ.  There is a much deeper issue at stake here than getting God’s approval for a new spouse. I want to share with you the Truths of God’s Word.  I pray that because of it, one life may be changed by my obedience to write about it.

The Lord God of heaven and earth so honored His set up for covenant marriage, that He left no room for divorce in uniting with us, His Bride.  Jesus Christ abides by His heavenly Father’s master plan.  He could not biblically or rightfully join with us (take us as His Bride) while we were yet joined to another…Law.  You see, this passage (see Romans 7:1-3), is about so much more than the first three verses about God NOT supporting remarriage, until AFTER death.  It’s about how earthly marriage is a depiction of Christ and the Church, and in being so, how His own Son (Jesus Christ), must fulfill the Law upon a rugged Cross. Therefore, it enables us to die to the Law through the body of Jesus Christ (v4), in order for Him to biblically and rightfully gain His Bride (indwelt believers in Christ).  There must be death for a covenant to be broken, and death had to come (Christ’s death) in order for us to be united with our Groom!  Do you understand the power of this Truth?  Take a moment to realize that God is not requiring anything from us that He does not abide by Himself! God is true to His Word, His character, and He is the ONLY lawmaker. If we keep reading in Romans 7, this is what we will find…

“Therefore, my brethren, you also were made to die to the Law through the body of Christ, so that you might be joined to another, to Him who was raised from the dead, in order that we might bear fruit for God. For while we were in the flesh, the sinful passions, which were aroused by the Law, were at work in the members of our body to bear fruit for death.  But now we have been released from the Law, having died to that by which we were bound, so that we serve in newness of the Spirit and not in oldness of the letter” (Rom 7:4-6, NASB, emphasis mine).

Here is the root issue to the rebuttal questions asked in the opening paragraph.  When we buy into the “right” and “ability” to divorce, we lose sight of its effects on the ultimate marriage--Jesus Christ to the body of indwelt believers.  Jesus didn’t hand the Law a certificate of divorce to explain why He could now be bound in unity/oneness with us as His Bride. God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16), and He was not about to give His stamp of approval for it so His own Son could gain a bride.  Jesus knew and understood the character and precepts of His heavenly Father:  we needed to die unto the Law in order to be released to be His Bride, and know the newness of the Spirit; He paid the ultimate price of obedience to His Abba in order to obtain a way for the release for us; and He fulfilled the oldness of the letter (Law).  If Christ did not follow His Abba’s master plan, then we would have been unequally yoked, married to two masters, and been an adulterous bride.  You’re probably thinking, “God would never do that! We wouldn’t be free from sin and death. It would go against His character, His Word, and the whole Gospel message!”  You know what?  You are absolutely right…He wouldn’t…and He didn’t.  He had to preserve covenant.  He had to have a pure, unadulterated bride for His Son (1 Cor. 7:39).  In the same way, God desires each marriage to be a representation of His Truth, character, and covenant…yes, whether a person believes it to be true or not.  God doesn’t change His mind, Word, or character to make you and me comfortable…not even to make us happy.  So to answer our previous question on happiness…no, the Lord God is not especially fretting over our happiness.  He loves, adores, cares, and cherishes us, but He will do that through the fulfillment of His Truth, and not go against it for our temporal desires.  When we ask those questions, we are asking from a temporal mindset of wanting fulfillment to physical longings here on earth. But when God answers us, He is answering us with an eternal perspective and desire to fulfill us with Himself. 

For those of you still wrestling with Scriptures that to our human minds seem to be “on the fence” with the issue (Matt. 19:1-8, Mark 10:2-12, 1 Cor. 7:15), let’s just walk the scenario out. Let’s say that God actually did believe in “biblical divorce,” as some call it.  Do you realize that if Jesus followed the idea of a biblical divorce, the Bride of Christ would no longer be united with Him?  Jesus would have been able to leave His Bride within the first week (if not sooner)!  Why?  Because we have committed adultery against Jesus!  We have had other idols/lovers and put them in His rightful place.  We, too, have abandoned and forsaken Him--in our words and deeds. Some of us have even walked away for years at a time declaring that we were displeased with Him as our Groom.  We were no longer fulfilled and in love; we thought we deserved happiness. 

Oh Lord God, thank You for not giving us the “biblical divorce” we demand.  Thank You for not taking what we like to call “biblical grounds” and walk away from us as Your Bride!  If You did, there would be no assurance of Salvation, no Christ and the Church, no exchanged life (not I, but Christ), nor eternity spent consummating the marriage (Rev. 19:7-9, 21:2-9).”

I ask you, do you want a Groom who believes in “biblical divorce?” 

God, in His faithfulness, knew we would not be able to perfectly live out these Truths and principles. He knew in His foreknowledge that people would choose the “good” (man’s happiness--temporal) over God’s best (Jesus Christ’s fulfillment--eternal).  Did He condemn the multitudes when He spoke on the mount (Matt. 5:31-37) or the Pharisees for testing Him (Matt 19:3-12)?  No, He explained that we are not to make false vows before man or God (pledging to remain until death--but instead, sending a spouse away), and that Moses (not God) permitted certificates of divorce because of the “hardness of man’s heart” (Matt. 19:8). Divorce is not an unforgivable sin.  No indwelt believer will go to hell for choosing it.  However, it is not God’s best plan for us.  It does confuse and distort the picture of Christ and the Church to a dark and lost world, and it plays a huge part in the confusion of the doctrines of our churches today.  From the beginning of time, God’s design has been: one man + one woman = a lifetime.  He is unchanging (Heb. 13:8)…it is man who has changed. 

Don’t lose heart if you have chosen divorce (or if your spouse chose it and left you). Be assured, God redeems.  He can fulfill your needs upon this earth--physical, emotional, and spiritual.  He, by the power of Christ’s life IN you, can fulfill your commitment to a spouse who has walked away and even remarried.  He wants to use YOU to display His glory and testimony of how the Groom (Jesus) never leaves His Bride (body of Christ/the Church). Be an example to the next generation (especially if you have children), that you will not compromise God’s Truth, no matter how one person (your spouse) has chosen to violate God’s design. Be willing to take a stand and preserve the future marriages of the next generation and the next and so forth!  It is a powerful ministry, one you cannot do on your own strength. Rely upon the Lord to fulfill His Truths through you.  After all, He is not requiring anything from you that He Himself has not done for His heavenly Father and His Bride.

If your spouse is not remarried, pursue reconciliation and restoration in God’s timing (Heb. 12:14; 1 Cor. 7:10-11; 2 Cor. 5:18). And finally, if you have already experienced a divorce and are already remarried, begin with these life changing Truths NOW…in the marriage you are in, with the person to whom you are now bound.  Confess and repent to the Lord for not honoring, obeying, and abiding by His design.  Today, make a fresh, forgiven stand and testify God’s Truth to others.  His ways are not popular and are rarely easy; but they are right, eternal, and full of spiritual rewards.

 

All Scriptures are taken from the New American Standard Bible, © Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.